Laugh of the Day: Snow Day Adventures

Snow??

Across the south today, snow was expected in Georgia, Tennessee, and Alabama.  Last year it snowed in these southern states, Atlanta specifically, and the Snowpocalypse happened.  With that in mind, schools were cancelled and offices announced they would be closed due to the impending storm.  In Birmingham, when I woke up this morning, I figured that nothing would happen because it wasn't even cold enough for snow.  It rained all day.  Essentially, my little brother missed school and my parents skipped work due to rain.

Disrupted Plans

I was planning to use this Wednesday to search for part time job opportunities around the city, so the rain played no role in my day's activities.  However, my parents urged that today wouldn't be a good day to search for employment because of the lack of open businesses that were fearful of the storm.  This led me to sit around the house and harass my kid brother all day.  During a session of roughhousing in his room, an interesting thing happened.

Roughhousing

It's important to note that my kid brother is now in 7th grade, that age when he can somewhat fight back during our skirmishes.  While we wrestled and bounced around his room, he retaliated to my shenanigans, causing me to stumble backwards a few steps into the window.  We heard the breaking of glass and stopped.  My butt broke the window.

After discovering the extent of the damage we caused (and our subsequent laughter), we devised a plan to fix the situation.  Using the top of a Nike sneaker box and duct tape, we were able to seal up the hole.  In the end, we told the parents what happened because it would have made more sense to tell them then, rather than wait and cause more drama for trying to hide it.

In my defense, I blame Alabama schools for canceling the day's activities, because if he had been in school, none of this would have happened.  Snow Days are always full of adventures . . . Even if it doesn't snow.

Bainbridge, GA: The worst place in America

I moved around alot as a kid. In Delaware alone I've lived in Dover, Camden, and Frederica. Following high school I lived in Atlanta and lived in Savannah for 5 years while completing college. My dad is a pastor in the AME church which moves it's pastors around as much as any military family. This is how I came to live in the worst place in America...Bainbridge, Georgia.

At first I brushed off the rumors around town of the place being cursed by voodoo http://bainbridgega.com/news/publish/101810voodoo.shtml, but after spending a summer there between semesters it's clear this place is cursed! Check out this list of reasons why Bainbridge is the worst place in America!

1- Killer Gnats

Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little, but these little fuckers are enough to make Bainbridge the worst place in America by themselves!! Imagine being swarmed by gnats EVERY waking second you spend outside! It's insane. Anytime it's over 65 degrees (which is the majority of the year) you can expect to be met by these unpleasant fellows as soon as you step outside.  They're relentless!




2- Crazy Drug Scene


For a sleepy town of less than 13,000 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bainbridge,_Georgia the drug scene is alive and well in Bainbridge. Now this could be a result of being so close to Tallahassee but either way major drug busts seem to be a common theme while I was there. Check out the links below about a couple federal drug stings that took place in Bainbridge.
http://bainbridgega.com/news/publish/031711cocaine.shtml
http://www.thepostsearchlight.com/2012/11/29/five-arrested-during-thursday-drug-bust/

3- General Craziness

If you can stand the gnats and yearly drug busts, the relative craziness of this town will surely do you in. I wish I had a dollar for each time I was threatened by vicious stray dogs while walking to the store.  Once on a trip to CVS I tried my best not to make eye contact with a man walking down the street in a trenchcoat (in the blazing heat of the Georgia summer) who also had a HOOK for a hand! No BS. Trying to escape Bainbridge, if only in my mind, I took a trip to the liquor store across the street. I took my whiskey to the counter only to find out they don't accept debit cards of any kind! FUCK! This place is like Georgia Bizarro world.

If you don't believe me you can always take a trip to this godforsaken place. But be careful! You may not even make it there due to the corrupt police in the adjacent towns. There's a saying about Homerville, a town where I was illegally stopped and searched myself, which is an hour or two away from Bainbridge. "Come on vacation, leave on probation!" So maybe it's best you just take my word for it.

As always,

The Lonely Blogger

PEACE