Below is a new post from the newest member of the Brothers Blog, Wobbly. Enjoy!
It was National Dr. Seuss Day in 2007. As I walked into Compton elementary school all I saw were the doorways to the classrooms decorated like The Cat in the Hat, Oh the Places You’ll Go, and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish. I walked down the hall and made a right to get onto the Pre-K hallway.
Every morning my teacher, Mrs. Green, would come in wayyyyyy too excited and loud for this time in the morning. She would come in, sing a song, and have us play a game where we interacted with others. Now adults always say that kids should never be tired and have boundless energy since they’re young but asking a kid to hug some white people at 8 o’clock in the morning is a bit much. After “friendly time” was over, Mrs. Green told us that because of the holiday, we would be sitting in the classroom all day listening to her read books and she began with Green Eggs and Ham. . . I was asleep by the time she got to the part where the character ate the food.
I woke up to the smell of some Oreo cookies and quickly realized that I had slept until snack time. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to pack one earlier that morning, so for the next 15 minutes I played around with some toys that I’d snuck to school. Usually, my mom or dad packs my snack for me but since I was becoming a “big boy” they suggested that I do it myself. So up to that day I’d have a snack to hold me over until lunch at 1 o’clock.
Today when Mrs. Green said it was lunch time, I was the first in line. On the way to the cafeteria I was constantly rushing past my teacher in a feat driven by an intense desire for food. We finally made it to the lunch line, where Mrs. Green stopped us. “Now children, since we’re celebrating our favorite author today, the lunchroom staff has prepared a special meal for us.” When she said the word “special” it registered in my brain as, “Maybe we’ll have some cake!” so I didn’t think about it too much. Mrs. Green finally moves out of the way so that I can try see the wonderful spread of food they have to offer. As I peered over the glass window separating us from the food, I saw that the metal coverings were still over the food. The lunch lady looked at me and smiled. She pulled the lids off of the trays and the food was....green eggs and ham!
Instantly, my throat started burning as stomach acid was making it’s way up my throat and into my mouth. I was positive that the throw up that was in my mouth tasted better than the green eggs. Growing up, my father never bought ham or used it in any way, shape, or fashion so both parts of this meal horrified me. I was stuck in a very difficult situation. Do I risk getting food poisoning or go hungry for the rest of the school day? March 7, 2007 happened to be a Wednesday, which according to my father was “Try Something New Day.” Unfortunately, I decided to try the green eggs and ham.
I got my plate and sat down at a table, optimistic about this meal. “Well I like eggs, and ham comes from a pig like bacon does, maybe I’ll like it.” Famous last words. I stuck my plastic fork into the pile of eggs and put a forkful of it into my mouth. Let’s pause here. At Compton Elementary School, the lunch ladies don’t see use in draining a 20 pound tub of eggs so what happens? The green eggs absorb the green egg water. This means that if someone were to bite into such eggs, then they would get a massive volume of green egg water bursting in their mouth and dripping down to their chin. Take a moment and imagine how you would feel if you were five years old and had this happen to you. Now take that feeling and add the fact that you were longing for some nourishing food, but have to wait several more hours to get some.
This story gets worse. Apparently, my father had volunteered to read books to one of the classes that day so he was at the school during my lunch period. Of course, he was trying to find me so that we could have lunch together, which I had no problem with. Except on this particular day we had green eggs and ham. If we went out eat eat as a family or ate at the house, my dad would not let me leave the table until I’d either finished my food or thrown up trying. By the time he’d found me, I had already given up hope of finishing my tray so it was just sitting on the table in front of me, green slime and all.
My dad saw this and asked why I wasn’t eating and I told him that eggs aren’t supposed to be green. “Don’t disrespect the lunchroom staff by throwing out a full plate of food that they made for you. Finish it all.” So as my classmates got to leave the lunchroom and go back to class, I was stuck alone in the lunchroom, with my dad, ingesting green egg water.
- Wobbly
